Dating your best friend good or bad
“We feel guilty about cutting people off—maybe you've been friends since high school—but when we realize someone isn't supportive or an uplifting influence, you should reevaluate.” Here are the telltale signs it might be time to say goodbye.Healthy competition between friends is normal, and can even be positive, spurring you to be your best self while examining where you can improve.An important part of friendship is give and take; sometimes you’re going to need some extra TLC, and sometimes they will.But if your friendship is consistently lopsided and solely focused on their needs (and we're not talking about when they're going through a particularly tough chapter, like divorce), there might be a problem.But when it crosses a line into jealousy—including aggressive competition, one-upping, and excessive attempts at leveling the playing field by diminishing your accomplishments—things become less kosher. That’s not to say that good friends won’t have fleeting moments of jealousy—that's just life, "but they work to contain those emotions and express them appropriately, rather then through veiled insults or overt competitiveness," explains Dr. “If you're always walking away from them feeling down on yourself, or having to talk yourself into why that person is your friend, that person might not be right for you at this time,” says Fati Marie, California-based certified integrative holistic health coach at Encinitas’ Four Moons Spa.“Good friends are like cheerleaders: they root you on and take pride in your success. “Listen to your gut and start taking small steps back, away from any scenarios that might connect you two." While, of course, some friends are simply honest-to-a-fault—which means you’ll occasionally face negative reactions that are tough to stomach—those same straightforward pals will also prove equally supportive and consistently build you up. Nicolosi stresses the importance of paying attention to internal cues. Do you feel weighed down, drained, and unsure of yourself?But if those tiffs, or lingering feelings that you're not getting out as much as you're putting in, happen more often than not, your friendship could be unhealthy, or even toxic.“Friendships can be protective and rewarding, nurturing and uplifting.
Recognizing that you’re in the midst of a toxic friendship by evaluating the signs is the first step toward extricating yourself—a painful but necessary process.
Studies have suggested that those with really solid friends live longer.
Like all deep relationships, however, even your platonic ones are bound to have their shaky moments.
Either they’ll apologize to you and change, or they’ll act like they have no idea what you're talking about—and you have to let the friendship go.
No one needs anyone in their life who isn't supportive of them.