Gay celibate dating
Running errands one day, I listened in my car to a recording of a roundtable discussion on sex and marriage led by Tim and Kathy Keller, the prominent Christian couple from New York City, and I remember nodding in agreement when they said that for people who commit to it, practiced chastity actually makes it possible to go for long stretches with a noticeably tamed sex drive.
I told myself that, like the early Christian renunciants I’d read about in Peter Brown, I didn’t want my mind to be ruled by lust.
I could practice what the evangelicals of my childhood called “custody of the eyes.”Still, I tried to befriend Spencer.
The next day I would board an airplane for home, having managed, in some way I can’t now fathom, to finish my master’s-degree thesis while stumbling through a darkening depression that left me almost unable to read. We had once shared a house and talked sometimes about doing so again in the future.
The occasion of that darkness was my friend’s new romance, and my experience of it was almost entirely defined by a deepening jealousy. And so, fingering the cellphone in my pocket, I tried to forget for a moment that I wanted him single again, wanted him all for myself.