Invalidating feelings relationship
I don't mind fighting, fighting should simply be the start of seeing there's a problem and working together to reach a solution.If I don't fully agree with something, or even it I don't agree at all, I know the importance of accepting that it being a problem for your partner makes it important because how your partner feels influences the relationship.And all of a sudden she says this is over and we don't need to talk about it.I tell her I don't understand why you don't get it when I first explain it if you actually listen to what I'm saying.I love and trust my girlfriend very much and I'd prefer to keep her.She is an amazing girl despite how this post might make her come off as, I won't go into how great she is since this is long enough already. I was at the supermarket picking up some things and there was a lot going on there that put me in a bad mood.
I asked what was wrong and she kept saying nothing and we dropped it. After I finish at the store we meet at my house to celebrate valentines.You don't decide the conversation is done and everything is fine just because you feel it is. I know her and her moods well and I mostly know how to handle her moods and to me, you can fix a lot of issues without even telling your partner it's an issue and I do that with her.It feels like you don't care about what I'm saying and I consider it disrespectful and that's what hurts me more than anything and you don't even apologize for spitting on my feelings and now that you're done I'm supposed to immediately drop it when it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Some things however must be discussed and it's becoming apparent that every time I have a problem pertaining us big enough for me to express how I feel, which is rare, her treating my feelings this way is what happens.How do I know you're not trying to be nice because it's valentines. If anyone is riled up its normally her and I'm the one who and I'm calm, even at the times she is being ridiculous. To her it was me not knowing her well enough to know she wasn't bothered because she made eye contact with me and said something before the part where she went in her phone and being quiet and stone faced like she does every time when she's mad or bothered.I'm always sensitive to her feelings so it bothers me more that she's never sensitive to mine. For me, it was explaining my legitimate reasons for why I felt she was bothered and why I asked, only for her to treat me as if I'm stupid for not knowing her better to know nothing was wrong and obviously something was.
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When we met up she is very solemn, quiet and looks like she has no interest in being near me, but despite all the key indicators of a mood I'm very familiar with, that anyone would interpret as at the minimum something is wrong, I'm supposed to know she isn't mad because she made eye contact with me and asked what's wrong. I understand that I was in fact rude and immediately addressed it once I realized and it is also a very rare occurrence for me, she regularly tells me how I'm so calm and understanding, I think I should've got a pass if you ask me, but I just want to fix things and enjoy our night.